How Could It Get Any Worse
by azugirl888
Summary: And Molly has to endure every encounter with the bachelors.
1. Prolouge

I've lived here for only 10 minutes and I've already decided that I NEVER want to marry any of the guys who are single who I should say I've learned have made a club called "The Bachelors". I vaguely remember some of them being on the shows, "The Real Housewives of Waffle Island" and "The Bachelor." After madly running through town, trying to find at least one SANE guy on this island, I retreated to my craptastic house. One day while I'm sleeping, that roof is going to cave in and kill me. Grabbing a piece of paper and pen from the amazing HAMMER SPACE I quickly wrote down the list of guys.

_Toby: By the way he talks about fish, I'm starting to believe he is one. _

_Chase: Cook addict_

_Gill: That guy who criticizes everything you do..even your breathing_

_Julius: Gay_

_Wizard: Emo_

_Owen: That buff guy that's not important to this plot AT ALL_

_Jin: The over working doctor_

_Luke: Harvest Moon's version of Ash Ketchum_

I knew, already, that I was going to try many attempts at suicide before my third day here. Sighing I flopped (more like crashed) onto the bed. But before I would go to sleep, I wrote in my diary that was conveniently there for me to write in.

_Today sucked._

At least they're not stalking me, I said. And before I climbed into bed, I believe I saw a figure duck behind my window.


	2. Harvest Moon's Ash Ketchum

"Hm. I need a theme song," Luke told Bo as they were busy walking through the Garmon Mines. "Ugh," Bo sighed. "You don't need one Luke. Just because you're EGOTISTICAL, doesn't mean you need a theme for yourself!" But as always, Luke didn't listen and had already grabbed a microphone from Hammer Space and started singing.

(Goes to the theme of the Pokemon Theme Song)

**I'm gonna be, the very best**

**Like no ones gonna be**

**I don't know what rhymes with best**

**But just you wait and see**

**I will travel across the land**

**Searching for the guy**

**Who chopped down, my precious tree**

**That I claimed was mine**

**My name's Luke**

**I'm the awesomest (why can't you see)**

**No one can compare with me!**

**My name's Luke**

**And yours is something stupid**

**That I can't repeat again!**

**My name's Luke (why you looking at ME!)**

**I know I'm too good**

**But you know I really should**

**Be on Oprah's awesome show**

**I AM LUKE**

**I am too awesome, I am too awesome!**

Molly happened to walk by at the moment when Luke started break dancing, thrusting his pelvis back and forth, and swinging his arms wildly. She quickly covered her eyes and ran into the mines, not looking back.

Bo, too, covered his eyes, but soon heard the familiar sound of Luke's flat voice, and uncovered his eyes.

**Yeah**

**Every challenge along the way**

**With my axe I'm gonna face**

**Because I know I can't fall**

**I'm Luke after All!**

**Don't come with me**

**I'm on my own**

**I'm the best team**

**No one can beat**

**The awesomness**

**Of Luke's dynamite**

**My name's Luke**

**I 'm the bestest one (I'm the best sight)**

**I signed myself for copyright (I am Luke) **

**Oh, I am so sexy**

**Not even Chase can beat me!**

**My name's Luke**

**I've got a bunch of fans (I'm more popular)**

**Than any of the bachelors**

**I am hot and you are not**

**I AM LUKE**

**Try to beat me now, try to beat me now!**

**Try to beat me now! **

**Try to beat me now! **

**Try to beat me now! YEAH!**

Bo was amazed how Luke easily knew how to do a guitar solo, even though he never had any lessons. Unless, Calvin taught him, Bo thought. Another thought came to his small head. WAS THIS ALL PLANNED!

**My name's Luke**

**I ran out of lyrics (If you'd be so kind)**

**I'm bored right out of my mind**

**My name's Luke**

**And I'm like royalty**

**I rule over you and me**

**My name's Luke (I'm really tired now)**

**Ash Ketchum's like me**

**But I really don't know how**

**This is the end of the song**

**I AM LUKE**

**I am too awesome, I am too awesome**

**I AM LUKE **

Luke stopped singing and went back to talking to Bo. "You know, you could use a theme song." Bo sighed once more and shook his head.


	3. The Invisible Owen

Molly was walking through Garmon Mines, trying to find random crap that she could sell for a very low price of $0.99! No, actually just for about 50 gold. But she always wondered: Gold pieces or bars? She shrugged and continued her search.

Owen, who reminded some people of his cousin, Bob, came out from the mines and spotted Molly. He grinned like Chesire Cat and called out for her.

"Hey! Molly!" Molly seemed to ignore him, but in reality she hadn't heard him. "Molly, yoo hoo! Molly!" Owen grabbed a mega phone from, HAMMER SPACE (seriously, where do they get this stuff?) and yelled, "MOLLY! I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" Molly still didn't move.

Chloe than came out of the shop and took a look around. "A wonderful day to bug Bo!" Owen, spotting her, waved his hands frantically. "Chloe, can you help me?" Chloe walked on by not hearing a single thing he said. Owen, was annoyed by then.

"I'M IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT!" he screamed. "JUST YOU WATCH!"

* * *

He descended the stairs down to the frame of the Red Bell! Hah, she's going to have to come to me to get the whistle, he magically predicted the future.

But as he heard descending footsteps, and the familiar masculine voice humming, Baby by Justin Bieber, he knew at once that it was Molly's. And a thought came to his head.

"Maybe I'm INVISIBLE! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE LIKE THE INVISIBLE WOMAN!"

Owen was so excited he dropped the whistle just as Molly reached the bottom. She looked down to find the whistle and reached down to grab it, when her hand brushed his. Her face was calm….for a second, before she flat out screamed, "GHOST! IT'S THE GHOST OF GARMON MINES!" Owen rolled his eyes. "Or the Invisible Woman/Owen."

* * *

Owen sighed and retreated to the shop. "I don't get it," he though aloud. "why can't I be seen?" Sighing, he grabbed his diary and wrote an entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_Nobody seems to see me. Except maybe Justin Bieber, but I haven't met him yet._

_Owen_

Instantly, he felt better.

"Hey, have we always had a second bed?" Chloe's voice rang.


	4. PJA Public Julius Announcement

Julius bit his lip and did his thinking pose, which consisted of him jutting his hip out and putting his hands behind his head. It was the alternative for the Thinking Chair, which was currently being used.

Molly was on his mind, and she made him worry. For his secret. Nobody knew but him. And maybe Hamilton. But he wouldn't tell. He was just the mayor who posted the news and told everyone EVERYTHING and told you when you should get married and have kids, right?

People needed to know. They couldn't hide in fear thinking, 'Does Julius the Wonderful have any secrets of his that I should know, so that I can tell everyone on Facebook about it?' Julius knew this was important, but he didn't know when to tell everyone. He faced his calendar and sighed pointing at it.

"Let's do this!" _Eenie meenie _(Justin Bieber reference! I hate him!)

* * *

On the day of Summer the 20th, Julius gathered everyone in front of his house for a major PJA, or a Public Julius Announcement. Everyone stood with bored expressions, thinking about things that were better than Gill (even if this was about Julius).

_Cats. Fish. Birds. Bears. Serial Killers. Serial Arsonists. Assassins. _The list went on.

Julius stepped up to the Mic (which yeah, yeah, came from HAMMER SPACE!) and held his breath for an hour. He probably beat someone's no breathing record. Beat that, he thought.

"Hello, everyone!" he cracked a smile. "Today's public announcement is brought to you by KFC and Coca-Cola. In the evening, we'll have a live performance by one of my favorite artist, JUSTIN BIEBER!" someone invisible cheered.

Julius sighed and cleared his throat. "I have gathered you all here, because I have to tell you my secret. The on that'll save you out of you misery. The one that'll save the lives of you loved ones." Everyone leaned closer in their seats.

"I'm…." they slid closer. "I'm…" they were on the edges of their seats.

"Gay."

Everyone groaned. "I thought this was a secret!" Molly yelled, and everyone agreed. Julius was shocked. "How did you know?" Everyone looked at him closely, but responded with,

"A lucky guess."


End file.
